These are weird times. If I’m honest, they are scary, terrifying, earth quaking, world stopping, beautiful, real, heart breaking, quiet, loud, soul searching moments.
As we begin to crawl out of quarantine and isolation, it has never been clearer to me that humans need connection. Not social media connection, not technology connection, real, face to face, huggable connection.
We paused. The world literally shut down.
It felt like a pause between heartbeats. If you’ve ever participated in a code, you are familiar with the pause. It’s the moment when everyone in the room stops the organized chaos to check for a return of a heartbeat.
It is the moment when we stop all of our external stimulus and look to the body of our patient giving their body a chance to declare itself.
Sometimes, there is nothing more that can be done. There are not enough drugs, not enough chest compressions, and not enough brains to bring every body back. During that pause, we watch the rhythm on the cardiac monitor that was created by chest compressions fade to a flat line.
But sometimes, that body declares itself. As we stare at the monitor, we watch the heart return to it’s rhythm: first the p wave, then the QRS complex, and finally the T wave. Sometimes the rhythm is shaky to start, and then it’s as if the heart remembers what it was built to do.
Once the heartbeat returns, the focus is shifted to stabilizing the patient- to making sure that their body has everything it needs to sustain the heartbeat. To keep it going and make it stronger.
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I never anticipated that in being a parent, my entire though process would be challenged. Having a little 2 and 4 year old questioning everything, has given me pause.
The past 10 weeks have been full of big discussions about little people questions. We’ve talked a lot about death, given my Grandma’s recent passing.
We’ve talked a lot about how we eat animals and how animals die before we eat them.
When I returned from the grocery store with bacon, Alice asked me if I killed a pig there. When I returned with , salmon, she asked if fish were swimming around at the store.
We read Charlotte’s Web each night before bed. At the end of the book, Avery was delighted to learn that Charlotte had saved Wilbur. Alice asked, “So Wilbur isn’t going to be bacon?”
I couldn’t tell if she was happy or sad about that.
We’ve talked about germs and discussed on end why it is important to wear a mask. We have discussed the importance of social distancing as a way to protect other people, not just ourselves.
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I naively envisioned that after quarantine was over, everything would just return to normal. However, now that we are entering the stages of re-opening, it is clear that reality may never return to what it was before. While scary, this isn’t necessarily bad.
Before jumping back into our old life as we knew it, we’ve taken a pause. Do we want our life to come back as it was? Or is it time to make changes? Time to return to life in a different form?
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During our 12 weeks of social distancing and isolation, we’ve taken time to work on art projects each day. This time has been as therapeutic for me as it has been for the girls.
One of my favorite authors and researchers, Brene Brown, has written on the importance of creativity. She talks about how the lasting impact it can have on a kid if you tell them (verbally or through nonverbal cues) that they aren’t “good” at art.
This statement resounded with me. As a kid, I never perceived myself as a good artist. My grades in art class reflected this. I believed you either were or weren’t born artistically inclined.
But after reflecting on Brene Brown’s work, I’ve taken time to incorporate creativity and art into my daily life. Most of my paintings are pretty awful. I can’t draw well. But I love it anyway.
We’ve explored with paint, glue, and scissors. I have learned to start with the phrase, “tell me about….” rather than saying, “nice tree!”. And the mess, oh the mess.
“The only unique contribution that we will ever make in this world will be born of our creativity.” Brene Brown
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It seems right now that the world might be falling apart. There are so many things that I cannot control.
But, there are so many things that I can control. I’m taking this time to move my focus outward. To be a good person. To show my kids how to be generous, compassionate, and loving.
Most importantly, I am trying to model good listening. Putting down my phone, getting on their level, shutting off the endless list of tasks that need to be accomplished, and listening. I can only hope that by role modeling this skill, they will pick up on it and listen to others.
It’s true, there is a lot of bad in this world. But change starts on a cellular level. It starts with one person. And I don’t doubt that with some creativity, pause, and good listening, we can get there.
Wishing you and yours peace, joy & love.
Laura
