When the girls were babies, I kept a notebook for each of them, and I’d write down memories and funny stories. Each year, on their birthday, I’d write them a flowery love note. This lasted approximately 2 years. Then, I started keeping a note on my phone with their best quotes. It was a way to not only track their growth, but also a reminder to me as their mom that little humans can be just as wise (if not wiser) than adults. I present to you, Alice Jane, in her own words:
Alice is humble:
Avery: Alice Jane is a good name
Alice: Yeah, it’s catchy!
You know me, I’m great!
I know I’m not almost a grownup, but I’m smart.
Nothing can stop me! I’m the incredible Alice!
“I’m smarter than I thought I would be!”
Alice on food:
French fries are more good for you because they come with ketchup, which has tomatoes in it.
Sometimes corn grows well in hot places because then it turns into popcorn!
Me: what would you like to eat?
Alice: everything we’ve got!
I want something that tastes like chicken nuggies, but isn’t chicken!
“Gumdrop, I know we just met, but I have to eat you now”
Alice knows best:
I have all my teeth on deck!
To Avery: “you are NOT my boss!”
Me: I feel like I’m getting sick.
Alice: of cooking?
Me: no, for real sick. But also of cooking.
On drinking water: I’m using my mouth to scoop up water like a bulldozer
Me: yard work sure is hard, isn’t it?
Alice: yeah, that’s why I’m going inside
“When you live long enough, you’ll see everything.”
Let’s rock it up a notch!
No to everything!
If I see any ants on the floor, I’ll smash ’em! And that’s a kromise (promise)!
Alice logic
Alice on having 14 kids after Avery saying she only wants a few, “but you know, if you have lots of kids, you can have lots of money. You just have to ask them for it.”
Me: It might be storming.
Alice: why?
Me: I thought I heard thunder!
Alice: it’s probably just your tummy rumbling.
Pretend I have pants on!
Alice: my new favorite color is brown!
Avery: your favorite color is brown?!
Alice: because brown is the color of chocolate!!!
Avery: my favorite color is still pink
Our daddy is made of sugar. He’s a sugar daddy!
Me: how do you want your hair done?
Alice: not a braid, but close to a braid.
Points at crib- look, it’s a baby cage!
Me: Alice, quit biting your nails
Alice: but one of them is sharp! And plus, I’m hungry!
When you laugh, your toots fall out.
After drinking hot chocolate: “my pee is probably going to be brown!”
Alice’s understanding of the world:
I think that’s how they wave in Spanish
Did you hear that sound? Maybe it’s a bears tummy grumbling. (While hiking)
After a football player gets carried off the field
Avery: is he okay?
Chad: yeah
Alice: he just needs a bandaid and then he can play?
Is “outdoors” how you say “outside” in Spanish?
Do you want my feet naked? I have socks on.
Me: it says it is going to rain soon but I don’t know if I believe it.
Alice: Mom, they’re just guessing.
Me: who is just guessing?
Alice: the weather people
God shouldn’t have let Adam and Eve go in that place and this wouldn’t have ever happened! (After hearing about how killer whales killed someone)
I wuv cold water! It makes my tummy scream!”
*sees a pilot
“Mom, I see a police officer going on ve-cation!
I just burped in Spanish.
Alice Ponders:
Do I look 6 yet?
But mom, when is the stage of life when you know everything?
“I don’t know if you can stare at your family, but you can look at them for a long time I think.” (After we had been discussing not to stare at strangers)
“Why didn’t God give Adam and Eve a second chance?”
Alice tries to con us:
“Let’s wrestle and if I win, I can have Cheetos for breakfast. Here are the rules: no tickling, no lifting me up, and go easy on me.”
Alice to Chad after he gave bedtime instructions: “but daddy, you aren’t the dictator around here!”
Quotes that concern us:
“Mmm, that marker (a sharpie) smells so good.”
I’ve got tools I can use on you! I’ve got knives!
“And the moral of the story is, if your friend is mean to you, you can be mean to your friend”
Avery: “mom, that’s a sheriff. Be sure to be good!”
Alice: ” for a minute- until he is gone.”
Alice just told me that had Adam and Eve not eaten the apple, she could jump on electric lines.
“That’s the only sorry I’ll do! I only do one sorry a day!”
Easy to trick a mom!
“It’s my best friend!” Re: our robot floor duster
Yeah, I am a pretty good puncher.
Alice preaches the truth:
“Jeans are the most uncomfortablest”
Al: “I can’t fall asleep because I’m scared of dying”
Me: “you don’t need to worry about that yet, it’s not going to happen for a long time.”
Al: “But I have to worry about you, because you’re super close!”
I am getting madder by the second.
Me: How do I smell?
Alice: sniffs face, “like lunchables!”
It’s not easy to control us, mom.
Alice Problems:
I don’t know if I’m telling the truth!
Boys are hard to get along with for me.
Alice Insults
Chad: do you think they’d let me go to the moon, Al?
Alice: nope. Too heavy.
When did you stop wearing deodorant?
You almost look pregnant. Are you pregnant?
Me: no
Then why is your belly so big?
Chad on Alice:
“She’s either gonna be president or a serial killer.”
Alice is cute sometimes
I’m going to go get Wonder Woman and blankie. I never hit the trail without them.
I love the rainbows that God sends us.
Me: you’re stuck with me forever
Alice: that’s just what I wanted!
Best quote of the year
Avery: I almost died when I was a baby
Alice *rolls eyes* “sewiously? You just had something stuck down your throat.”
