Every summer, I hit a point where I no longer enjoy the flexibility of a school-free schedule. Some may call this point rock-bottom, others may call it losing-your-sh*t. And it is in this moment, every summer, that I declare in my brain, “It is time to return to school.”
While all parents have different tolerance levels, I often reach this point on day 6 of summer break.
Here are some signs you may be close to your breaking point, er, signs that it is time to return to school:
1. The house is a disaster.
Yeah, my house is always a disaster, but this level of mess I’m talking about? FEMA level. There is a yoga mat on the stairs, like a rug of sorts; I’ve been told I’m not allowed to move it. I keep stepping on Barbie accessories, the sink is full of dishes no matter how many dishes I do, and all flat surfaces are covered cut-up paper with glue drizzled on top. The craisins bag is permanently open in our pantry, welcoming the United Nations of ants.
2. The phrase “I’m bored” is uttered approximately every 3 minutes.
Listen, I’m bored of hearing the words “I’m bored”. I’m bored too, okay! We are all bored. There is nothing left to do to pass the time except to fight with each other. Some days it is more of a debate team, other times, WWE. Sometimes I just give up and we watch Bluey all day. The girls are entranced by what fun parents Bluey has, and I am annoyed at the level of perfection Bandit and Chilli exude.
3. I’m done being a chef for every single meal of the day.
We’ve gone through 100 boxes of mac n cheese, 20 bags of chicken nuggets, and one million popsicles (the tube kind that kids are incapable of opening themselves). I’ve had to remind my children that they are capable of getting themselves water. I cannot deal with another food request.
4. On a similar note: the snacks are gone. I repeat, gone.
I spend $600 on snacks each week, and they are gone within two days. Meanwhile, the $300 worth of vegetables I bought with good intentions are rotting in the fridge. If you are what you eat, then my daughter is 60% chicken nugget and 40% fruit snack. And I’m 98% peanut butter. Despite the fact that 50% of our budget is spent on vegetables, no one contains any vegetables.
I do not know how my children will survive not having a snack every 7 minutes, but I’m willing to risk it. It’s time to return to school.