Maybe you trusted I had the skills to untangle the wires of your beloved slinky, or the know-how to coax the piece-of-shiitake plastic back to its original form. I like to think I was your last hope. But more likely, it ended up on the counter because I asked you to clear the table, and we both know that “clearing the table” is synonymous in your brain with, “take my beach shovel and take loads over to the counter.”
“What are you going to do for yourself today?” my therapist asked. “I’m gonna grab a chai tea latte on my way home,” I replied, already calculating how I’d Tetris my day together for maximal productivity. Though I’ve spent a lot of time working on not labeling things as black and white, good or bad, or success or failure, it remains a challenge. I still proceed through my days giving myself green check marks when my day meets my expectations, or red x’s when my plans derail.
©2023 · Laura Onstot